So many of the “big deals” of our lives turn out to be not such big deals after a few years. Or even after a year or few months. Look back on your life and take stock on what you worried about or what kept you awake at night or how terrible you felt about something. Is it still a big deal? Does it still keep you up at night? Does it still feel terrible?
There are many times I can think of where I can’t believe I spent the energy and agony on people and situations that then seemed so important and now seem like blip on the screen. Some of them I totally forgot about.
There are important people and times and situations in our lives, no doubt. That’s what makes life so interesting. You might want to step back and see if this time is one of those times or if, perhaps, it’s not the big deal you making it out to be.
Here’s some things to consider regarding “big deals”.
1) If you are getting whipped up into a frenzy about something, it’s time to step back and breathe. Yes, just take a few deep breathes in and let them out your mouth. For me, a helpful vision is that I’m inhaling all the wisdom and learning from the situation and then exhaling all the frustration, confusion, stress (or whatever the predominant negative stuff that’s involved). Just this step will help a lot!
2) Ask yourself: Is this a situation that I can change? Perhaps the change needs to happen internally first. Can I take a different perspective on this? Is this something that will matter a month from now? A year from now? 5 years from now?
If it’s not something that you can change, allow yourself to surrender to what is for now. This is an opportunity to trust that you will be OK no matter what is happening now or in the future. Perhaps you will see a way to make change, if that is necessary, at another point.
If you think that this situation won’t be that big a deal in some time, see if you can find some relief in that fact right now.